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dear my mellow^yellow lalaland.. I'm coming to bring you a sad story.. yes, I'am sad now.. gatau kenapa, sejak tahun terakhir kuliah gu berubah jadi lebih mellow.. jauh lebih mellow dari sebelum-sebelumnya.. kalo dulu gu cuma galau, gundah, resah dan menangis dalam hati, sejak 2009 gu jadi mulai sering nangis beneran.. gampang banget ngeluarin air mata.. I dont know whether it was the side effect of being mature or what.. karna tadinya gu emang termasuk orang yang gak terlalu peduli sama any girlie look nor girlie stuff.. that time, pink was disguisting... but slowly, I'm changing.. 

waktu tahun terakhir kuliah, gu sering nangis karna hubungan yang gak harmonis sama dosen pembimbing skripsi.. saat itu keadannya, kalo gu tetep sombong dan kekeuh sama pendirian gu, skripsi itu gak akan jadi-jadi.. sedangkan I haven't have any degree yet.. it would be the very first for me.. 

I love to visit my own site.. seeing a young lady sit down on a sofa, writing on her journal with a slight smile on her lips.. *could it represent me?

rindu rindu aizawa

aaai guuuyss... akuh mengingkari janjikuu.. 

yes! my promise was to write something about Cinderella Sister (yg sedang tayang di Indosiar) tapi akuh gak sanggup mengalihkan pikiran dari lirik lagu Rindu Rindu Aizawa iniii.. tontonan wajib #jamanSD... terngiang-ngiang terus di kepala... minta untuk segera dituangkan.. 

sempet browsing sih tadi.. khawatir lagu yg terngiang di kepala ini salah.. tapi, di tiap tempat, liriknya beda.. jadi gu tulis yang sesuai sama ingetan gu aja yaa... :p

tetes air mata mengalir sedih

akupun melamun dalam bayang sepi

sungguh ku mengenal semua sifatmu

namun ku tak mampu ucapkan kata

seakan ada cinta mengikatku

akupun menangis dalam lamunanku

ku sadar lamunanku hanya mimpi

tapi ternyata kau telah pergi jauh

dimana adanya cinta sucimu

dimana adanya harapan hati

saat malam tiba bulanpun tenggelam

lara rasa hati berselimut resah

saat ku ingin mencoba megejar

namun ku hanya mampu terdiam

inget banget.. jaman-jamannya nonton ini dulu magrib2 sambil disuapin makan sama mamahchu.. nonton si Suzu disiksa dengan segala macam cara... 

kalo yg di pertama, ceritanya sih masih maniiiss.. *permen kali cu ah manis! :p* yg gu inget ada cowo namanya Jun... untuk gu yg dulu masih kecil, Jun itu ganteng sekali guuuyss.. pria idaman sekali lah pokoknya.. kayanya dia juga deh yg mempengaruhi type gu saat ini.. putih, tinggi dan matanya sipit.. :p tapii, tiba-tiba *gu lupa sebabnya apa* si Jun pergi.. Suzu harus menghadapi hari-hari kerasnya sendiri lagi.. namun dia tetap berusaha untuk kelihatan tegar.. :'( pas episode ini, lirik yg : seakan ada cinta mengikatku.. akupun menangis dalam lamunanku.. ku sadar lamunanku hanya mimpi.. tapi ternyata kau telah pergi jauh... nampol sekaliiiii.... dan akupun ikut menangis dalam hatii.. :'(

kalo di yang ke2, gu suka sama Erika.. :D yayaya.. walau jahat, dia lebih cantik dari Suzu.. :p trus Jun muncul lagi.. yang menyakitkan, dia gak ngebelain Suzu yang disiksa ampun-ampunan guuuyss... kan cewe malang harusnya ada luck-nya juga dooong.. masa' iya udah malang, kalah cantik, mantan cinta diam-diamnya pun diembat juga... puhleaasee... mulai dari sini, gu sebel sama Erika.. :\ tapi akhirnya si Jun bilang sih sama Suzu, kalo dia dan Erika cuma boongan, tapi pada saat Jun sekarat.. dan Suzu harus kehilangan lagii..

gak abis-abis deh kisah sedihnya si Suzu... :'(

gu brows gambar2nya, ketemu beberapa yg gu suka, here they are:

kalo gak salah, ini Jun :

dan ini Suzu..

oia, gara2 film ini, gu jadi berandai2.. suatu saat gu punya anak cewe nanti, nama belakangnya harus ada Anishawa... *loh!? kok Anishawa? kan Suzu Aizawa..... !?!?!

karenaaaa : Anishawa adalah gabungan dari Annisa dan Hawa... whiches, keduanya meant to girls.. :) hihihihi... lucuu yaa.. :p

hokeeeh... this is it!!

Cinderella Sister-nya menyusul yaaaa... ;))

I love his quote.. ~ Goodnight digital world.. Goodnight future wife.. ;) ~ it just so touchy.. or is it just me!?

I've wrote about korean drama last time.. you may still able to find it if you want.. next korean drama I'll write must be : cinderella sister.. *eun jo sadness just like me.. and honestly, I really wants to express it just the way she did...

forgotten

dear pak Ivan.. 

I dont have any idea, would you ever read this junk-post or no.. as I know, I just want to write a name right now.. your name..

dear pak Ivan.. 

how are you there? are you still busy with all of your campus project? or is there any other thing you were busy with? is there any other student you said as found a new gf? 

okay, I'll make it into focus.. do you still remember me? as I've never been texted you anymore.. no emailing you no more.. not trying to built a new communication with you.. do you still remember me? or I just have been forgotten? as usual... 

forgotten..

one word which able to makes my tears down.. everybody just forget me.. 

I'am forgotten..

maybe everyone will be back remembering me when I've become somebody, someday.. when I'am not a nobody anymore.. when I've been able to have a good position in job.. lots of money.. great husband.. nobody will see me in an eye..

I even haven't die yet.. but I've been forgotten... 

even my own mother did forget me.. she forget that I'm her only daughter who have a heart.. not only a head.. not only a creature which contains of bones, blood, skin.. not only a thing which can be anything, anytime she wants.. I'm only human.. not superhuman.. 

I always say the good thing about her to everyone.. about how great she is.. how perfect she is in doing anything.. but, she never did it back.. she always said the worse things about me.. or maybe she only remember the worse? never been a good one.. she never said proud of having me.. she never said proud for anything I've did.. she never said anything which can makes me feel like I'm valueable.. she never..

dear pak Ivan.. 

would you just come to give any inspiring word again? which can makes me feel like I'm not nothing.. that I'm a thing.. a thing which can be usefull and meaningfull to any other people.. 

would you?